You_will_meet_a_tall_dark_stranger

Review by The now yorker

In Woody Allen’s perverse and fascinating “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,” set in London, Alfie (Anthony Hopkins), a grizzled and barrel-chested plutocrat, perhaps seventy years old, leaves his wife of forty years, Helena (Gemma Jones), and marries what used to be called a floozy—the fun-loving, alarmingly mobile hooker Charmaine (Lucy Punch), who quickly restores Alfie’s sex life and empties his bank account. After a strenuous whirl of several months, the two of them stare blankly at each other in their barely furnished white-on-white apartment. The place has a nice view of the Thames but resembles nothing so much as a new hospital wing. The rejected Helena, meanwhile, sipping Scotch, sherry, and whatever else is handy as she goes about London, falls under the sway of a fortune-teller, who informs her that she is receiving enormous waves of positive energy. Not only that: Helena will soon meet someone swell. Alfie’s and Helena’s daffy, all-too-human attempts at therapy and renewal establish the framework of stupid behavior and adultery that follows: their unhappily married daughter, Sally (Naomi Watts), delicately flirts with her married boss, a debonair art-gallery owner named Greg (Antonio Banderas), while her surly husband, Roy (Josh Brolin), once a promising novelist, suffers the rejection of his new novel and starts an affair with a young woman (Freida Pinto) he sees in a window across the street. In this movie, no one is satisfied with what he or she has; everyone attempts to get more and, with one ironic exception, winds up with less. In the past, Allen made movies that echo Chekhov and Bergman, and this is a pass at Balzac: the world is ruled by egocentricity and meanness, and much of what we do approaches grubby comedy.
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Review by culture catch

Considering Woody Allen, 74, makes a film a year, the question to be asked is not why so many of his movies are uneven, but why so many are to be treasured. Even in this past decade, there’s been Vicki Cristina Barcelona (2008), Match Point (2005), Hollywood Ending (2002), and Small Time Crooks (2000). Although none achieve the magic, wit, or depth of Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), or Annie Hall (1977), they all are embraceable entertainments, worthy of numerous viewings.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, however, is middling Woody. Not unwatchable as The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001) or as annoying as Melinda and Melinda (2004), the film still has a rushed quality to it. The proof is a horrendously off-putting voiceover (supplied by a dreadful Zak Orth) that is consistently employed to fill in plot points the screenplay is unable to incorporate with any grace.

Review by BoxofficeMagazine

Woody Allen is back in England for the fourth time, and still concerned with the lives and eternal longings of characters in search of that elusive thing called love. A choice cast and, as usual, some snappy Allen patter and observations on amour-or the lack of it-will hit the bulls-eye with Allen fans who follow him wherever he goes, particularly European audiences. In the U.S., expect about the same kind of middling box office numbers he usually gets. This is no overachieving Vicky Christina Barcelona or Match Point in that regard.Allen sets this table with a group of people of various ages and desires who just can’t seem to get emotional satisfaction with their current partners. Problem is, the new love arenas they dabble in will only bring a new kind of heartbreak. The audience is certainly in on Allen’s wicked joke, even if the characters aren’t themselves.

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