Justin Bieber: Never Say Never Movie Review (3/5)
Review by Cole Smithey
It’s a given that Justin Bieber’s millions of prepubescent girl fans are ill-equipped arbiters of taste. So it goes that this faux documentary is nothing more or less than a 113-minute marketing campaign for the latest teenybopper flavor. One thing is certain, this is not a movie; it’s a very long commercial. And by “long,” I mean boring. Cheesy manufactured bubblegum-pop meets puppy luv as Bieber’s brief sixteen years on the planet are poured over in a worshipful scrapbook format. Wow, the kid from Canada can play more than one instrument, and sing in a forced R&B style with genuine feeling. Regardless of how much music-industry heavyweight Usher sanctions the undeniably talented young singer’s skyrocket to fame and fortune, Bieber’s songs sound remarkably similar. They’re all aimed at the “lonely girl” in the audience who will win his heart. Snooze. It takes about forty minutes for the music’s drone effect to set in, and tedium to take over. I suppose it’s impressive that Bieber sold out Madison Square Garden. The movie certainly tells us enough times we should be duly awed by the achievement, even if it’s to a crowd of adoring 10-year-old girls.
Review by The Telegraph
I was dreading Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D, as I settled down in a preview auditorium packed with over-excited pre teen and teenage girls and one extraordinarily reluctant boy – my son, dragged along to offer advice.
But in fact the movie, though saccharine-sweet and over-long (105 minutes) does offer odd moments of useful insight into the 16-year-old boy who is not only the most Googled person on the planet but also has a website called Lesbians who Look Like Justin Bieber entirely dedicated to him.
Review by Guardian
He’s the moppet from another planet: I defy anyone to watch this docu-lite promotional tour video about Justin Bieber’s live show (back when he was 16) and not be sort of impressed, if only at an anthropological level. With his extraordinary hair, his perky chops, his eerie self-possession and his billions of screaming fans, Bieber is … well, awesome is the only word. He achieved a level of fame that long ago left the OMG category and is now in the upper reaches of OMFG. There is no story or journey to Bieber’s triumph. It simply happened too quickly; he was a nobody the day before yesterday. The tagline on the poster says: “Find out what’s possible if you never give up.” But for Bieber this was the shortest struggle imaginable. There were no reversals or problems or tragedies in the tiny interval between obscurity and mega-fame: none visible, anyway. His dad left his mum when he was 10 months old, and she brought him up with her doting parents’ help. The errant dad puts in a supportive backstage cameo, though. Did the ker-ching attract him back? Is there bitterness?
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